I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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