so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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