So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize