planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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