So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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