im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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