big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize