I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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