I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize