Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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