So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize