READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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