nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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