dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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