my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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