I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize