Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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