WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
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At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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