they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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