you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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