i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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