the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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