the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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