Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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