Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Couch. On fire.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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