First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this will be a night to untag.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
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I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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