I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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