yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize