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Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
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