Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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