Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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