How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
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For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
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Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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