Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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