if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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