Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize