You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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