You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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