yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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