we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize