Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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