i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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