when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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