you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize