i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize