I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
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His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
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I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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