My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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