Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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