i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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