Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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