so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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